


DMB 56-58

by faithharkness



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Jossed, M/M, Natasha knows everyone, Pepper and Phil are bffs, because really it writes itself, slight Steve/Tony if you stand on one leg and squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 15:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1694105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithharkness/pseuds/faithharkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers go see Dave Matthews Band.</p>
<p>No, really, that's it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DMB 56-58

**Author's Note:**

> I went to my first Dave Matthews Band concert (at The Gorge) with my friend Aubergine over the Labor Day weekend in 2012. As we sat suffering through a bad opening act (not the main opener, The Avett Brothers, whom I love and were awesome), she turned to me and said, “You should write the Avengers go to Dave Matthews.” So I did. And then I let it sit for a while. Then I edited it into this because my fun little ficlet was starting to get actual feelings and a plot. I may return to that original edit someday, but I wanted to get this posted for the ClintCoulson Lives! Fest, so here you are. This is the very first thing I’ve written in this fandom (officially; Clint and Phil show up in a scene from a massive crossover AU I have going on, but this is the first thing in the actual MCU.
> 
> The title refers to the number of Dave Matthews shows my friend’s been to. The three days at The Gorge were shows 56, 57 & 58.

Darcy was practically vibrating with glee. She was at the very least bouncing with joy. “Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave!” she chanted as she bounced.

“Can someone make her stop? It’s hard not to violate Steve’s ‘no ogling’ policy when she’s bouncing like that,” Tony said, watching her over the top of his sunglasses.

“Tony,” Steve began.

“Yes, Cap?” Tony replied, turning to look at him.

Darcy jumped on Tony’s back, latching onto him like a deranged monkey.

“Daaaaaaave,” she fairly shouted into his ear.

“Yes, Darcy. We’re going to see Dave,” Steve said.

“At The Gorge!!” Darcy yelled.

“For the love of Science, get her off me, Bruce!”

Bruce just chuckled on his way to the kitchen. He was looking forward to a quiet night in the tower.

“Darcy, get off the nice billionaire or he won’t take us to The Gorge on his private plane,” Coulson ordered without looking up from his StarkPad.

“Us?” questioned Tony as Darcy climbed down and engaged Thor in a lively jig while continuing her Dave chant.

Coulson looked at Tony and lifted an eyebrow. “Fury had some concerns about all of you going to the show without supervision.”

“We’ll be fine; Darcy knows she can’t take her Taser and Natasha has promised not to maim anyone who bumps into her in the pit,” Clint said.

“I promised no such thing,” Natasha corrected.

“Right. Sorry; she promised not to _kill_ anyone,” Clint amended.

“Better,” she replied.

“No maiming. No killing. I’d rather we were in and out without anyone knowing the Avengers were there,” Coulson said.

“Better leave Tony here, then,” Clint said.

“That’s it! No top shelf liquor for you on the flight. Well only!” Tony yelled.

“Can we go yet?” Darcy pleaded.

“Happy’s downstairs with the limo,” Pepper replied.

“Sure you don’t want to come, Pep?” Tony asked.

“I have that charity board meeting first thing in the morning,” she replied, patting his cheek. She smiled at Phil, who nodded thanks to her. Pepper knew Phil had a special place in his heart for one of the night’s openers and she had convinced Fury it would be better if Phil went to keep an eye on the entire team, rather than just her to wrangle Tony.

“Marines! We are _leaving_!” Darcy shouted from the elevator.

“I was in the Army,” Steve protested, confused, as they all piled into the elevator.

“We’ll watch _Aliens_ on the way,” Tony said by way of explanation.  
*****

“VIP should include someone to schlep our swag,” Darcy complained.

“If you hadn’t bought three of everything,” Jane replied.

“Some of those were presents.”

“For who?”

“Me?” Darcy said, no guilt in her voice.

“I would be happy to carry your purchases,” Thor offered.

Thor was still new to the whole concert experience (Jane had had to explain that, no, it didn’t bear much resemblance to Asgardian tournaments, but he might still like it anyway) and didn’t realize he’d want and need his hands free. Steve was just hoping Darcy wouldn’t convince Thor to put her up on his shoulders. Once Tony had informed him of _that_ particular concert tradition (and the rampant shirtlessness that went with it), Steve had started to despair of them getting out of the concert without the expenditure of some serious bail money.

“That’s all right, Thor,” Coulson said, pulling something out of the pocket of his cargo pants. He snapped open a small nylon bag with cloth straps. “Here, Darcy.”

Darcy took it and placed her purchases inside, then looked into the bag. “Wow! There’s even room for more! It’s like it’s bottomless.” She looked up. “OMG, Coulson has Hermione’s bag! And it’s all mine!” She pressed a smacking kiss to Coulson’s cheek before slipping her arms through the straps. “Magic backpack!” she crowed.

“And now to the magic beer,” Tony said. Like the others, he was dressed down (as much as Tony could be, but the jeans were a nice touch), trying to blend in with the crowd.

“Magic beer?” Thor asked, his interest piqued.

“Greatest. Invention. Ever,” Clint said, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Follow me, I know the way!” Tony chirped.

“Internal alcohol GPS,” Clint snickered.

Darcy chuckled.

Coulson rolled his eyes at all of them, already mentally filling out the paperwork he knew would be coming his way as a result of this excursion.

Thor was appropriately impressed by the Bottoms Up beer and Tony managed to resist taking it apart to make the system “stronger, better, faster”. He did, however, order three of the systems to be delivered to the tower so he could “improve” them when he got home. Coulson already had a migraine over the thought of beer dispensers with repulsors idling through the tower.

Once they had their beer, they trooped to the VIP area to relax until it was time for the opening acts. Darcy and Clint had refused to watch the concert from anywhere but the pit.

Darcy glanced at her watch and realized it was near time for the first opener to be announced, so she led the way into the pit. She left her magic bag in VIP with Tony, who professed he didn’t do opening acts.

Even though they hadn’t arrived early enough to camp out near the front of the pit, Darcy managed to charm her way closer to the stage, with Steve keeping within arm’s reach, just in case. Clint, Jane and Thor were a few feet behind them, Clint still trying to keep Thor from poking his beer. The Asgardian didn’t understand why the beer would not refill from the bottom if he did, indeed, poke the beer, as Clint and Tony had both proclaimed it Magic Beer. Jane had finally succeeded in the task, informing him that it was a Midgardian ritual he should follow. Coulson was near the entrance to the pit, just in case a quick escape was warranted.

Clint easily picked out Darcy’s squeal as Dave Matthews came on stage to introduce the first opening act.

Clint had only made it halfway through the first song before he started praying for a technical failure. He thought the singer’s voice was too warbly and he had a tendency to try too many Mariah Carey runs. Clint snorted; before Coulson and the man’s addiction to reality shows, he wouldn’t have known half the words he used in that thought.

By the time the artist started a song that, for a heart-stopping moment, Clint was terrified was going to be _Maneater_ , he was looking for more lethal solutions to his dilemma.

“No,” Natasha said, suddenly beside him.

“Gah! Nat! Where’ve you been?”

“Seeing an old friend. And no.”

“What, no?”

“Stop looking for perches. You can’t kill him.”

“But—”

“You cannot. You kill him and they will cancel the rest of the show. If they do, I will make _you_ explain Darcy why she can’t see Dave.”

Clint shuddered. He knew Coulson had confiscated Darcy’s Taser, but he also knew Natasha had been training her in dirty tricks fighting. Plus, he had it on good authority that Jane threw a mean punch, and he was nearly certain she had learned from Darcy; girl had the air of a scrapper about her.

“No,” he said. “No way.”

“Then no killing.”

Clint sighed and nodded.

“I’m going to go find Tony,” she said before walking off.

Out of habit, he watched her go, following her with his eyes until she turned into the VIP area. Once she was safely bickering with Tony, he turned back toward the stage, only to have Darcy _right there_ in front of him.

“Gah! What is it with you women today?” he said.

“If you make him stop, I will love you forever,” she said, tilting her head back toward the stage.

“Tasha said no killing.”

“He’s wearing white pants. And no underwear. I know he’s not wearing underwear, because there is enough room in his tight white pants that I can see which way he dresses and there is bouncing. _Bouncing penis_ , Clint! You do this favor for me and I will love you forever.”

Clint wrapped his arm around her neck in an easy headlock. “You’ll love me forever anyway. But I’ll buy you another magic beer.”

She huffed. “Deal.”  
*****

After getting Darcy beer and re-depositing her in the pit under Steve’s watchful gaze, Clint went back to the VIP lounge. He wanted to make sure Natasha knew he had kept his feet on the ground and not committed any felonies. He found her at the bar with Tony, the scattered plastic shot glasses in front of them indicating Tony had been stupid enough to let Nat talk him into another drinking game. For a genius, Tony had a tendency to make really stupid decisions when it came to Natasha. His gaze flicked back to the pit. Natasha, and Steve. 

“They’ll be going on soon,” Natasha said, _right there_ again.

“Stop that. You coming to watch?”

“Wouldn’t miss it. I put in a special request,” she replied as Tony joined them.

“Special request? Is there _anyone_ you don’t have spectacular blackmail material on?” Tony asked.

“No one important.”

Clint snorted as they walked back to the pit. They made their way down to where Darcy and the others were standing. 

“Dude, you missed it! Asshat frat boy poked the beer and it gushed out like freaking Niagara,” Darcy said, grinning.

“You pointed and laughed at him, didn’t you?” Clint asked.

“Did you miss the part about him being an asshat? He was wearing something that started its life as a Muppet, Clint.”

Tony laughed. “We need to adopt her. Can you adopt adults?”

“Yes you can, and no, _you_ can’t,” Natasha said.

“But think about how much that vein in Fury’s head will throb!”

“He did almost have a stroke when he found out she was Phil’s new PA,” Clint said.

“Stop helping,” Coulson suggested.

The conversation was cut off by Darcy’s loud squeal announcing Dave’s return to the stage to announce The Avett Brothers. Darcy moved forward through the crowd, with Clint and Phil at her back. Steve stood with Tony and Natasha, who had a smirk on her face that, for once, was comforting rather than terrifying. They were shortly joined by Jane and Thor, who had returned with more magic beer.

“She’s not going to try to get them to dance, is she?” Jane asked, nodding at Darcy. “Because I’ve seen that and no good comes of it.”

Steve laughed.

The first couple songs were jaunty, with the band and the crowd dancing along. Darcy was laughing and dancing, circling Clint and Phil as she tried to get them to dance with her.

“That cellist has almost completely shredded his bow,” Jane commented from beside Tony.

“He is going to town. I admire that kind of passion,” Tony said.

The next song was much slower, the singer pouring pain into lyrics about darkness and light. Steve noted that a stage hand had come out and given the cellist a new bow before the song started. 

They followed up with another jaunty tune, this one about a wedding in January, which had Darcy coming back to elbow Jane with a huge grin. Jane blushed and stole her friend’s beer. Steve laughed at Darcy’s pout; he’d have to buy her another one later.

“This last one,” one of the brothers began; Steve made a mental note to learn their names later. “This last one, we weren’t going to play tonight, but an old friend of Dave’s made it a personal request. Dave said you don’t say no to this friend and, well, we don’t say no to Dave.”

Tony turned to look at Natasha. “Your special request?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“You’re not the only one with fancy friends.”

“It’s not the fancy friends part; it’s the part where you have fancy friends who don’t also double as secret international assassins.”

“How do you know he doesn’t?” she asked, eyes wide.

“Great, now the thought that Dave Matthews is secretly an assassin is going to be stuck in my head.”

“Just enjoy the music, Stark.”

Steve, who had tuned out the familiar patter of Tony-Natasha snarking, watched the crowd as the band sang about shaking hands and spinning heads. Darcy was swaying to the music, her usual vibrant energy muted. Clint and Phil were beside her, the backs of their hands brushing. His eyes widened as Clint moved his hand and caught Phil’s fingers with his own.

“You okay, Steve?” Natasha asked quietly.

“Cellists use bows!” he blurted.

“Wait, what?” Tony asked, then followed Steve’s gaze to Phil and Clint. “I’ll be damned. When did that happen? How did that happen? How did I not see it? When was Barton in Portland?”

“Three years ago; as with all really important things, I made it happen; because you are ridiculously blind to things right in front of you; and Portland is Phil’s go-to code for when Clint is out of touch,” Natasha replied.

“You’re terrifying. You get that, right?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “How you doing, Cap?”

“Fine. It just surprised me. I hadn’t seen it, either.”

“They are usually discreet. That one’s their song, though.”

“Daaaaaaave!” Darcy shouted as she, Clint and Phil rejoined them. “Dave soon!”

Tony laughed allowed himself to be swung around in a jig.  
*****

They had moved up as a group to watch Dave. Phil had suggested that Darcy might get a little overexcited and Thor might take aggressive objection to others (read: security) taking objection to Darcy’s enthusiasm. It was agreed that a united front seemed to be the safest course of action.

Everything was going swimmingly until _Grey Street_. During the chorus, Dave looked at Natasha, smiled and winked. Darcy, being the eagle-eye that she was for all things Dave, whirled around, whapping Jane in the face with her hair.

“You…you know Dave!” Darcy said.

“Yes. Quiet down,” Natasha said, not wanting to draw the crowd’s attention to her. 

“But…but…he winked at you! You know him!”

“I think you broke Darcy, Natasha,” Tony stage whispered.

Natasha glared at him before turning back to Darcy. “Yes, and if you are very good, I will take you back and introduce you to him. Now, turn around and enjoy the rest of the show.”

Darcy nodded, dazed, and did as Natasha ordered.

“For the record, I handled that knowledge much better than Darcy did,” Tony said.

“Shut up, Stark.”  
*****

“Now?” Darcy asked three seconds after the band had left the stage.

Natasha smiled indulgently; she really did have a soft spot for the younger woman. “Come on.”

“We’re leaving soon. No time for restraining order-requiring activity,” Tony said.

Natasha cocked an eyebrow at him before leading Darcy away.

Tony turned to Clint. “I’m paying for that later, aren’t I?”

“A world of yes.”

“Should we go with them?” Steve asked, watching Natasha and Darcy walk off.

Tony slung an arm around his shoulders. “Natasha can keep Darcy reined in. She has an awesome sleeper hold; I know, I’ve been on the receiving end.”

Steve nodded, satisfied with the answer. 

Tony fell into step beside Clint and Phil. “So, all kidding about secret assassin history aside, how _does_ Natasha know Dave?”

Clint shrugged. “Saved his life in South Africa. He walked into the wrong bar at the spectacularly wrong time.”

“Huh.”

“How do _you_ know Dave?” Phil asked.

“What makes you think I know him?”

“You got us VIP passes to The Gorge practically overnight for Phil’s ‘Yay, you’re not dead’ celebration,” Clint replied.

“Met him at a charity auction for Bama Works,” Tony shrugged.

“You are just full of surprises,” Steve said.

“Let’s get back to the jet. We’ll leave Happy to get Natasha and Darcy. I want real liquor,” he said, walking toward the super-secret VIP exit.  
*****

“Are they back yet? Hey! Stop necking!” Tony said as he returned from the bathroom.

“You said Clint and Phil had to behave. You said nothing to us,” Jane said, resettling on Thor’s lap.

“Piss-poor planning on your part, Stark,” Clint said, smiling.

“Agent Romanov and Miss Lewis have returned,” JARVIS said.

“Thanks, JARVIS. Captain, let’s go as soon as they’re seated.”

Captain Jordan nodded and got up from the discussion he’d been having with Steve. He passed Natasha and a dazed-looking Darcy on his way to the cockpit.

Natasha settled Darcy into a seat beside Jane and buckled her in.

“She okay?” Clint asked Natasha after she strapped in beside him.

“Her brain just needs to reboot,” she replied.

They had been in the air for 20 minutes before Darcy snapped out of it.

“Holy shit! I just met Dave!”

“See? All better,” Natasha said.

“What was he like?” Steve asked Darcy.

“Awesome. He was just…made of awesome.”

“What did you say to him?” Phil asked.

“I—” she cut herself off and looked at Natasha in horror. “I don’t remember!”

“You asked him what his favorite song to play was,” Natasha said.

“Oh. What is it?”

Natasha got up and whispered it in her ear.

Darcy grinned. “Awesome.”

Natasha returned to her seat, a smug grin on her face as she watched Jane and Darcy talk.

Clint elbowed her. “What?”

“I’m waiting for her to remember I took a picture of him hugging her.”

**Author's Note:**

> Phil & Clint's song is "I and Love and You".
> 
> The Bottoms Up/Magic Beer is a real thing.


End file.
